The Lifespan of a Fly

“R.I.P. Uncle Barry”…. 1 person “likes” this
May 11, 2010, 7:12 PM
Filed under: Generalizations

Who has Facebook? I’m going to guess a good 98% of people who read my blog did so because I self-promote on Facebook. So, assuming most of us have Facebook (or Twitter, but tweeting seems rather self-important to me) I want you, for a moment, to reflect on how social networking sites have changed interpersonal relationships…… Ok, done? Good, now we’re in the same state of mind.

Facebook has obviously changed how people communicate. Hell, I don’t even know half of my “friends” phone numbers, yet, I can easily shoot off a message and organize a get together or keep i touch with a friend living accross the ocean. Sounds pretty damn good hey? Until you begin to notice a behaviour I like to call “auto-like syndrome”. Auto-like Syndrome sufferers often show symptoms of general agreeability to any Facebook status change, picture, post or anything in particular really. They will half-hazardly “like” things that are completely inappropriate for “like”-ability. Auto-like Syndrome can be transferable from one person to another. Behaviouroligists liken its transferability to that of a mass-hysteria induced mentality. If you notice a friend or loved one “liking” Facebook updates without apparently reading them for content, the writer of this blog suggests that you immediately reduce Facebook contact with them. Auto-like Syndrome can be hard to cure but complete and utter removal from the temptation to “like” is the only hope for a sufferer.

Another social disease originating from Facebook is “Share-all-itis”. Share-all-itis is the need to share every small detail of ones life. In particular, the sharing of deeply personal problems to everybody on your friends list (a list which, in some cases, contain more than 300 so-called friends). Share-all-itis can be cured by completely ignoring it. Eventually, the sufferer will begin to realize that you don’t really care. Share-all-itis can also be cured by Auto-like Syndrome. If a sufferer of ALS “likes” when a post about a cheating significant other, perhaps the Share-all-itis sufferer will get the hint.

If you happen to notice a friend or family member exhibiting signs of the above discussed social diseases, please seek treatment. Both Auto-like Syndrome and Share-all-itis are highly annoying forms of social behaviour and need to be approached with caution.


1 Comment so far
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My newest favourite today was:
*person* is single. (everybody ask “what happened?”
*same person* is in a relationship.
*same person* went from being “in a relationship” to “its complicated”.
Actually now that I look at it, it looks like Share-all-itis.

Comment by J

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