Look out Linda Blair

Look out Linda Blair

June 1, 2010, 9:53 AM
Filed under: Generalizations

The end result of H1N1

Let me start off this post by apologizing to my readers for the lack of posts in way too long of a time. Yes, I know you’re upset. I’ve already gotten a few emails this morning giving me hell. So let me make pathetic excuses for myself. I’ve been battling a brutal spring cold for the past couple of days. The type of cold where you’re certain that sometime in the night, little doctors in gleaming white coats snuck into your bedroom and emptied your brain of well, brains, and replaced it with cotton balls.

So short of the congestion and the persistent fever, my favorite symptom thus far has been the neon green phlegm. Yummy hey? Well, I can beat that. In October I was blessed with the H1N1 virus. Now THAT was a week from hell. The first day that I began to suspect that the culprit was something more advanced than the regular flu virus, I had to march the six blocks up to my medi-centre. And thank God it was only six blocks away. It took nearly an hour to put clothes on and get up there. My legs felt like they were filled with rubber cement (you know, the kind you used to pretend were boogers in elementary school) and slowly they carried me to medical attention.

Once I arrived at the medi-centre, I came to realize that I wasn’t the only person infected with the plague and that my wait could be longer than I expected. So I waited and when I finally saw the doctor he insisted that I do not go back to work for a week. I asked him if it was the dreaded H1N1. He smiled slyly at my query and further insisted on bed-rest.

So I dragged my butt back the 6 blocks to deal with my surely impending death on my couch and turned on the television. What movie did I watch you might ask? Outbreak. Yeah, the one with the cute, little, poisonous monkey.

I learned something extraordinary that week…. watching Outbreak while sick isn’t the best idea I’ve ever had.

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