The Lifespan of a Fly


Small Town Lovin’
June 9, 2010, 9:23 AM
Filed under: Generalizations | Tags: , , ,

Sister-cousins here I come

One of my best friends (and loyal readers) is just about to get married. In the next six weeks she will have sold her soul for matrimonial bliss. Her freedom will be severely restricted and she will then be forced to convert from her usual mode of dress to horrifying moomoos and high-heeled slippers. But for now, with her freedom slowly closing in upon itself, she’s pretty damn excited. I really don’t blame her, her future husband only beats her when she has it coming.

Last weekend she asked me to accompany her to her hometown, where the Ceremony of Death will be held (aka her wedding). After spending the past ten years in a city of relatively large proportions, small towns give me a sense of giddiness. Small town folk always know when they have an interloper in the midst. Their mouths hang open as they stare at you in the vehicle during your drive through. That might seem annoying to those people who like to remain anonymous, however, I derive a certain pleasure from being “that new girl”.

There are a few other things I adore about small towns. Namely, being able to drink a beer and walk down the main street without fear of law enforcement or someone who might want that beer. In the city, if you go to the bar you take a great risk that you will likely be stabbed in the neck by someone who wants what you have. I’m not even exaggerating, this has happened a few times in Edmonton, giving its nickname “Deadmonton” new meaning. Another great thing is not needing to own a vehicle. Sure, everyone has one, but they mainly use them to haul the corpses of all the hitchhikers they’ve picked up and killed over the years.

Luckily, I’m not a hitchhiker, although I spent most of the time waiting to hear the tune of “Dueling Banjos” come wafting through town on the winds along with the scent of manure. Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoyed my time there. So much that I’ll be going there again for her wedding. I’m really excited to party with all of the cousins and sister-cousins. I just hope I don’t end up chopped into pieces and shoved into a freezer.

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2 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Your blog makes me happy.:)

Comment by Amanda

He who walks behind the corn field…..

Comment by Dan




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