Never Trust Circular Pieces of Rubber

Never Trust Circular Pieces of Rubber

July 12, 2010, 2:26 PM
Filed under: Generalizations | Tags: clumsy, elastics, humour, office humour, work funny

Well, that sounds pretty gross, and I’m mentally giggling to myself like some pre-teen girl who just went through sex-ed class. But clear your dirty, disgusting, filth-filled minds, it’s yet another clumsy story.

Ok so for anyone who has ever doubted my lack of motor skills, you need to check out earlier posts. So working on the fact that you knew I once broke two ribs and split the bone and cartilage in my chest on my FIRST EVER ski run (and I mean I immediately did so), then you probably will shake your head.

Here I am, innocently replacing the worn out elastic on a file with one that still smells like rubber and not the grubby fingers of my co-workers (love you guys), and all of a sudden SNAP! The thing breaks in two and somehow manages to fly the foot and a half and smack me right in the face. Of course. My co-workers just laugh. They know that of the six incident reports found in the First Aid Kit, I am four. They get progressively worse. It goes something like: Paper cut, paper cut, file folder cut, little metal thingy cut (I hope I don’t have tetanus).

Seething in my anger toward this inanimate enemy of mine, I decide to avenge myself. I will show it the Wrath of I by flinging it at top speed against the side of my cubicle. Little did I expect it would have its own opinion and fly OVER my cubicle into that of my unsuspecting co-worker’s, two desks over.

No! No you malicious, evil elastic! You will not claim another victim! You will not separate Michelle from her baby.

I put it in the paper shredder. Escape that!

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