The Lifespan of a Fly


Lying to Kids
August 23, 2010, 1:27 PM
Filed under: Generalizations | Tags: , , , , , , ,

I don’t have kids…. yet. Let’s just get that out in the open. This weekend, I told a lie to Mike’s nine-year-old cousin, “Mountain Girl”. I love this little girl. Her personality is big enough to fit in a room and my, is she ever a quick one. She has an older sister who is quickly being introduced to her teenage years, and poor little Mountain Girl, she just doesn’t understand why her sister can’t be her best friend anymore. She complained that her sister only cares about boys and that Justin Bieber thing. “All she ever does is listen to his stupid music and put pictures up on her wall”, she told me.

So I lied to her.

Wait, wait, wait. I leaned in closely and whispered in her ear: “You know, her real name is Justina Bieber. The music company told her that they didn’t need anymore girl singers, only boy singers. Justina cut off her hair and started pretending she was a boy”. Mountain Girl and I shared a conspiratorial giggle, and she was armed for the next time her sister dumped her for some weird-boy-girl-singer-thing.

Anyhow, I totally forgot about that until now. At first I felt kind of bad that I lied to a nine-year-old. So I asked a few people if they ever lie to kids for the fun of it. Dhalia told me about how she had convinced her nieces that she didn’t have a belly button and that their “real” uncle was Kenny Chesney. Jean told me that her mother and entire soccer team had convinced her that Hannibal the Cannibal was her real dad (THAT would have been sweet). And in turn, I remembered how my parents told me that they had found me orphaned in an alley in a breadbasket. And then they SHOWED me the breadbasket.

Ahhhhhh…. those were some good times. So if I learned anything it’s this: Sometimes, lying to kids can help save their feelings.

But most times, it’s just really funny.

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2 Comments so far
Leave a comment

My mom told me I’d grow a penis when I turned 13

Comment by J

Hence why your mother is one of my favorite people

Comment by tlabine246




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