The Lifespan of a Fly

Double Standards
August 27, 2010, 2:19 PM
Filed under: Generalizations | Tags: , , , , , ,

As a writer I am expected to be unbiased (NOT) and provide equal coverage to all areas of mechanics and punctuation. Slowly, my own prejudice has been revealed to me. I. Hate. Semi. Colons.

Like, a lot.

Often I catch myself constructing complete thoughts just to avoid using semi-colons. ARGH I scream at my computer screen, Get out of my writing!. And then, because I’m the boss, creator and whatever else I feel like being, I abolish their existence.

On the other hand, I find myself preferring the use of colons. I LOVE COLONS (well those colons are pretty sweet too, but I’m talking punctuation wise). The way they prepare my reader for some inane list I’m about to present, or absurd idea that always spews from my brain is completely entrancing. It’s as if their very presence is announcing HOW COOL whatever I’m going to write is.

But that’s not exactly fair is it? I love the legitimate colon, but it’s bastard brother makes me cringe. I find new and exciting ways to introduce my favoured pet, yet I ignore the other one just so it knows its daddy doesn’t love it. If colons and semicolons were characters in a Harry Potter book, the semicolon would be called a “Mudblood” as it pushed its way through the hallways of Hogwarts. I suppose it’s not the Semicolon’s fault its mother stepped out with a Comma after a few too many gins.

Yeah, ok, I’m biased. I get it. Writers should love all their periods, commas, colons, semi-colons, hyphens and other markings equally. But I don’t, and wanted to express with you the double standards I place on squiggly black marks.



2 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Semi-colons are great; they are a legitimate way to link two related statements together!

Comment by Dad

Just because it has a useful purpose doesn’t mean we need to be friends!

Comment by tlabine246

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