The Lifespan of a Fly


The Contest
October 8, 2010, 7:41 AM
Filed under: FOOOOOD, Generalizations | Tags: , , , , , ,

So if that sounds a little familiar, it’s probably because Seinfeld did an award-winning episode on this very subject. No, I’m not going to talk about holding out on self-gratification, because really, who wants to do that? But the concept is the same. I was inspired by an article I read in one of Mountain Equipment Coop’s quarterly magazines. In the article were three young Canadians, each of whom had vowed to not buy anything for a year, as well as not throw anything away that can be re-used. They each held little garbage bins for the few non-recyclable items they had to dispose of. A toothless comb jauntily poked out the top of a seafoam green garbage can. I was amazed at how little actually needed to be thrown away.

So ladies, especially Canadian ladies, you know how it goes in the winter right? It’s so cold here you don’t want to shave your legs every day and soon enough one week goes by. You’re feeling good, prickly but comfortable; and before you know it, a second week has passed. The comfortable feeling has now been replaced with a warped sense of accomplishment, a desire to see how long this can last for. The twisted contest has begun. How long can you go before you end up grossing yourself out? (Don’t even pretend that I’m the only one that does this. I checked).

I’ve applied this theory to groceries. I’d like to be all self-righteous and tell you it was for some noble reason of waste-not want-not mentality. That would be respectable, wouldn’t it? I would awe you with my environmentally friendly attitude. Alas, that is not the case. The contest has begun because I’m poor. Like, pretty poor. Because I’m certain I was “old country” in another lifetime, I strongly believe in stocking up on dried goods and frozen foods in time of need. Which, for Mike and I, is usually September-April.

A quick glance into my fridge reveals a half-carton of eggs, margarine, beer (I totally consider this part of the grains), a little bit of almost-bad sour cream, and left-over Kraft dinner (gourmet? I think yes). I easily could have picked up food, but after a while, I started seeing this as more than an empty fridge. The bareness of my cupboards became a contest. I was challenged to try and consume what I had without replenishing anything. How long could we last like this? On odds and ends and familial handouts (thank God or whoever it’s Thanksgiving this weekend. I am certainly thankful for families that feed us).

Well, as it turns out, the answer is four weeks. We can go four weeks without replenishing our stock.

Although I don’t have a cute little garbage can to show off my accomplishment, I feel as if I’ve learned something new about myself. I could totally survive the inevitable zombie apocalypse (as long as C teaches me to use a shot-gun soon.. hint, hint).

Except, at this point, your brains are beginning to look very, very, tasty……….

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2 Comments so far
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I have done this and will mostly likely be doing this again with tution payments coming up in January. Your body is capable of amazing things when you are a student. We are in a zombi-fied state for the entire course of our education.

All the power to you. It’s amazing what you can do with the “shelf decorations” of your pantry and fridge.

Comment by Lindsey Emes

And then I realized it’s Thanksgiving this weekend and I may not be brave enough to grocery shop, so the contest will be extended I believe

Comment by tlabine246




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