The Lifespan of a Fly

November 5, 2010, 7:24 AM
Filed under: Generalizations | Tags: , , , , ,

Great White shark about to bite a bikini clad swimmer

*Cue Jaws Theme*

So I compiled a list of irrational (and some totally reasonable) phobias for a class of mine. I was instructed to build a webpage and was told I can write about “whatever I want”…. That’s probably not always a great idea. So, a list of phobias is what emerged. Thank you Grant MacEwan for providing me with the ability to mock things on a much larger scale.

Alektorophobia- Fear of chickens. (I’m afraid of how they’re prepared. Besides, they are nosy little bastards aren’t they?)

Ancraophobia- Fear of wind. (Anemophobia)

Automatonophobia- Fear of ventriloquist’s dummies, animatronic creatures, wax statues – anything that falsely represents a sentient being. (As a child, I had a panic attack in a wax museum. My poor father had to carry a screaming seven-year-old through the torture chambers)

Bogyphobia- Fear of bogeys or the bogeyman (I wonder if this applies for boogers. The black ones are pretty freaky)

Chaetophobia- Fear of hair. (It’s so… stringy)

Cherophobia- Fear of gaiety. (Sullen, angry attitudes for everyone!)

Cypridophobia or Cypriphobia or Cyprianophobia or Cyprinophobia – Fear of prostitutes or venereal disease. (Legitimate)

Geniophobia- Fear of chins. (Better start hanging out with British people)

Hellenologophobia- Fear of Greek terms or complex scientific terminology.

Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia- Fear of the number 666. (Damien? Where are you Damien?)

Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia- Fear of long words. (This is as mean as putting s in lisp)

Kosmikophobia- Fear of cosmic phenomenon.

Linonophobia- Fear of string. (Velcro shoes for everyone!)

Metrophobia- Fear or hatred of poetry. (I said tell me how you feel, not piss me off with poetry)

Nephophobia- Fear of clouds. (They’re so fluffy and malignant)

Nyctohylophobia- Fear of dark wooded areas or of forests at night (legitimate, unless of course you’re looking for a vampire lover playing softball or something equally unlikely and dumb)

Omphalophobia- Fear of belly buttons. (Have you ever smelled a belly button? Don’t look at me that way. Just do it)

Onomatophobia- Fear of hearing a certain word or of names. (I’m having Harry Potter vs. Lord Voldemort flashbacks right now)

Rhabdophobia- Fear of being severely punished or beaten by a rod, or of being severely criticized. Also fear of magic.(wand) (Is the rod magically powered?)

Russophobia- Fear of Russians (What do you mean that’s not a Russian? It’s a bear you say? Huh… what’s the difference?)

Selachophobia- Fear of sharks. (Irrational only because I am afraid of sharks and I live in Alberta)

Symbolophobia- Fear of symbolism. (I hate you English 103)

Zemmiphobia- Fear of the great mole rat (How… specific?)


2 Comments so far
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“I said tell me how you feel, not piss me off with poetry”

That just made me laugh out loud in the middle of class and pissed everyone off. So thank you for that. Exactly what I needed on a Friday morning in an 8 a.m. class 😀

…is it just me, of does that sound very sarcastic…

Comment by Lindsey

Seriously… fear of wind? Does that mean that a person would never leave their house because they are scared its windy outside? Fear of wind… Im totally puzzled.

But the rest of them…they are totally legitimate and rational. lol

Comment by Terrie

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