The Lifespan of a Fly

Do’s and Don’ts of Re-Gifting
November 19, 2010, 8:33 AM
Filed under: Generalizations | Tags: , , , , , , ,

Yeah, I know I hate Christmas, but other people really like it. I was once talking to another student in my Magazine class about why I hate Christmas. I won’t give you a comprehensive list or anything cause, well I try to keep each post under 500 words. But, my reason for extreme dislike includes things like: turkey, twinkling lights that have half burnt out bulbs and you freeze your fingers off replacing them, drunk relatives who cry and shit (actually I like it when they cry a little). You know, normal Christmas stuff.

Anyhow, my main pet peeve with Christmas is re-gifting. Wait, wait, let me clarify that. I think re-gifting is a great way to save a little bit of money and reduce the debt that comes with Christmas. So, if you’re going to re-gift, here’s a list of Do’s and Don’ts you may want to adhere to:

Do’s and Don’ts of Re-Gifting
1. DO ensure that the gift is appropriate for the recipient. Example, DON’T give Gramma last year’s personal massager. Unless, of course, she rolls that way.

2. DON’T forget who gave you what last year. Don’t give your mother-in-law the sweater she gave you last year. Or if you do, be pretty clever about it “I knew you loved it and I thought we could be sweater buddies!”

3. DON’T leave the tags on. There are two reasons for this: a) They may try to exchange or return said gift to only learn that (insert snobby French accent) “Mmm, sir, this is last year’s style”. b) They are now stuck with your re-gift.

4. DO mix up gift bags. Oh, and make sure they don’t have those little card things on the strings, cause you really don’t want to give Cousin Jerry a bag signed “With Love, Candi”. Cause I’m sure he’s wondering why you didn’t give him Candi instead of a stupid pair of socks.

5. DO when in doubt, bring food or booze. I know this isn’t really a tip about re-gifting, but seriously, people like food and booze. Just do it.

And that, my friends, is my yearly contribution to the holiday spirit. Now, it’s time for me to go rip down half-burnt out twinkly lights that some cheerful soul has put up in November.

Damn your cheer, who’s got the Baileys?


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