The Lifespan of a Fly

How Dogs Can Make You a Better Person
February 17, 2011, 7:52 AM
Filed under: Generalizations | Tags: , , , , , , ,

Every once in a while I write about my dogs. I’m not a mother, in the whole birthing of another human being sense. But I am a “dog-mother”. I have two boys: Duke is my 15-year-old mutt who’s been teaching me about the good and bad that come with age; Rex is my 5-year-old springer spaniel who’s been teaching me that any time is a great time to cuddle.

I’ve learned a lot about life from owning dogs. In a lot of ways, they’ve trained me (probably better than I’ve trained them). My dogs have taught me how to be a better person, and today, I’d like to share with you some of those lessons.

What I’ve Learned From Owning Dogs
1. Clothing – No matter how cute those acid wash jeans are, don’t buy them. Someone is guaranteed to get extremely excited during their spring-time walk, and they will jump on you with muddy paws. Black pants are the way to go.

2. A Little Dog Hair Never Killed Anyone – I’ve pretty much given up trying to leave my house without looking like an Angora sweater. Sometimes, it’s easier to give in to a cuddle, then it is to look pristine and have those big soulful eyes staring up at you. If a little dog hair is the price to pay, then I’d say the fare is fair.

3. If It Smells Good Eat It – ‘Nuff said.

4. Swim In the River – So it’s not full of chlorine? So it’s got germs in it? Enjoy yourself a little bit, swim in the river.

5. A Wet Dog is a Happy Dog – Stop worrying so much about how you look and start thinking about having more fun. Run around top-speed and dry yourself off on your partner’s side of the bed. They love that.

6. A Good Butt Scratch Goes A Long Way – That it does. Next time you got an itch where the sun don’t shine, scooch down a little and you rub that itch on the beige carpet.

7. If I Didn’t Roll In Anything, I Don’t Need a Bath – Stink it up a little guys. We’re so crazy about hygiene in North America, it’s time to let the stink announce your presence. Unless, of course, you rolled in a decomposing fish you randomly found in the bush.

What my dogs have taught me, more than anything, is how to have a big goofy grin on my face and to not take myself so seriously. And why should I? They sure don’t take me seriously.


1 Comment so far
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Also, Begging for Food is an Art Form. If I am ever destitute, I will never go hungry. My dogs have taught me a hundred different ways to beg.

Comment by Freedom, by the way

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