The Lifespan of a Fly

Musings… Part 2
March 5, 2011, 11:31 AM
Filed under: Generalizations | Tags: , , , , , ,

So I haven’t posted for a while. Yeah, I know, sorry. I’d try to explain, but then I’d sound all pathetic and weepy, and that’s just not what you came here for. Let’s just say it’s still snowing and I am still pissed off about it.

So I’ve collected some musings for you:

Charlie Sheen – He’s my new hero. Now, I won’t condone excessive drug and alcohol intake. It makes you crazy and your skin bad. However, I do condone porn stars (especially in numbers that equal more than 1). I also further condone people threatening to “eat your hands off your arms”, cause that sounds INSANELY bad-ass and like it should be a scene in the sequel to Machete.

Machete – Now that I’ve mentioned Machete, which has what must be the greatest movie scene ever, I’d like to recognize said movie scene at this time. Anyone who repels out of a window with another person’s intestine deserves some mention here. They also deserve the Chuck Norris Medal of Bad-Assery.

Crackhead Neighbours – I have them and wonder every hour of the day how anyone can manage to bang so much. What are you doing in there? Are you building the fucking ark? Aren’t you supposed to be passed out on your couch watching the flying mongooses? Or is that opium? Anyhow, stop banging so much.

The Ginger Ale Commercial – You know which one I’m talking about, with the Ginger Farm? It’s really misleading when the beautifully tanned workers pull up the plants and it’s not mini-ginger kids. Now that’s a drink we could all appreciate.

Cannibalism – I imagine it goes like this “What do you want for dinner?” “I dunno, make whoever you want.”

On Girls Who Won’t Date Short Guys – If you ask for chocolate cake and instead you get vanilla, do you bitch about it? No cause it’s cake and it’s fucking yummy. Shut up and eat your cake.

Blood Donation – I don’t like their version of the bloodmobile… So I drew a better one.

That is Strawberry Nesquik; to ensure tasty participation


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