The Lifespan of a Fly


Hobo Magic

So, I really hate political correctness. There’s nothing more aggravating for me, as a writer, than to have to say “his or her”, “police person” and other stupid compromising phrases. I’m not a feminist, so that may have something to do with it, but I really don’t see the problem with “his” or “policeman”. Sometimes though there’s a PC term which is much more insulting than more common, slang terms.

I’m talking about the homeless people of Edmonton. A few years ago I heard someone refer to them as “undesirables”. I dunno, there’s something about being called undesirable that I just don’t like. Therefore, I’ve decided to examine the more common terms for these people and how they reflect a more positive image than of just being undesirable (which seems to by synonymous with “garbage”).

Bums – You know, there’s some really awesome bums out there. What about tight bums in yoga pants? Personally, I’d rather be a hot bum than an undesirable individual. So, Bum stays.

Tramp – I just like this better.

Hobo – I love this word. It sounds like they have this mysterious, inclusive club that us showering people are not privy to join. They have bonfires under bridges and travel the world on the soles of their feet. How is that not a magical image? Short of smelling like cheap wine of course.

Vagabond – When I think of vagabonds, images of gypsies spring to mind. Hot gypsies twirling barefoot in flowing skirts and screwing us hard-working saps out of our money at their super-cool carnivals. Yes, vagabonds are pretty kick ass.

So the next time you see an undesirable human being, remember, they’re cooler than you and you can’t join their club. You smell too good.

(Writer’s Edit: I’ve now spent most of my morning thinking about Hobos and have decided that their personas of “down-and-out” folks is a complete lie. They are actually magical elves spread among us so that we may remember what human generosity is about. And for beer. They bring beer. BEER. BEER.)

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1 Comment so far
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I like the word Hobo, too. It does have some romance to it.

Comment by Freedom, by the way




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