The Lifespan of a Fly


Event Planning as Dictated by the Rapture

Totally got Raptured


So I think I survived the Rapture; and so did everyone else I know. I didn’t do any head counts, but I did call my most socio-responsible/aware friends and they were still around. So either Jesus didn’t come and save us all, or everyone I associate with does the Devil’s work; which is definitely more probable. Whatever, at least I won’t be lonely in Hell.

Also, not being Raptured sure clears up my calendar for this summer. No angelic feasts for me to participate in, only bar-be-ques and beheadings for this girl. Although Griff did invite me to a rally this morning. I get invited to a lot of rallies, which is why I was sorta counting on the Rapture and following apocalypse to provide me with an adequate excuse. Sorry guys, can’t make your rally today. Got Raptured and you’re going to burn. But Skynet failed and now I’ve been invited to a rally.

I probably wont go. Not that I don’t believe in whatever the cause is this time, I probably do. I dislike quite a bit of my world and shouting with signs does seem like a great way to spend a Saturday, but I’m kinda lazy.

First, I’d have to make a sign and I kind of ran out of glitter. All signs must have glitter on them, or their opposition loses its effectiveness. Trust me on this. Politicians are known for their short attention spans, so shiny shit that attracts their attention to my big sign is a must. Besides, it’s pretty.

Secondly, I’d have to find something really clever to write on my sign. I wanted to have Welcome Skynet!, but I don’t know how to make a tinfoil hat.

Third, I kinda just don’t want to. See, there’s a level of expectation here. If I go to your rally, then I’ve gotta go to the next one too and, well, my calendar is kind of full with non-angry activities. Anger gets sort of boring after a little while. Sure, it would be cool to burn down the Parliament building, or throw cream pies at Premiers, et cetera. But after the Parliament is a smoking pile of Rapture, and the cream pies have been destroyed (a travesty if I may say so), then what else is there left? It all feels a little anti-climatic.

So if it’s all good with you, I’m probably not going to participate in a rally. I’m a little claustrophobic and if I wanted to spend an entire day getting my face smashed in by/with an angry mob, I’d go moshing. And really, what kind of shoes can I wear to a rally? Is there proper etiquette for rally-wear? Close-toed or sandals?

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1 Comment so far
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Hahahaha love it. You’re an awesome writer.

Comment by Amanda




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